A lively debate has erupted on Reddit as British food enthusiasts have been planning the “ultimate British buffet”. The discussion was sparked by a user asking others to share their ideal spread, with options ranging from “retro working class style” to “modern posh nosh”. The original poster, @lippykid, asked: “If you were making the ultimate British buffet, what’d be in it?” “And would it be proper retro working class style, or modern posh nosh? Or a mix of both?”
The public’s opinions varied, with one user humorously suggesting a selection of dried picnic classics and “British Tapas”. The term “British Tapas” seemed to refer to “approximately 25 kilos of frozen beige food in 50pc bags, all of which can be cooked in 20mins in a 180C fan-assisted oven.”
This same user also mentioned they would serve “picnic staples” like scotch eggs and pork pies, albeit insisting they are “dry as f**k”. They continued: “Onion bhajis that taste like onion powder mixed with potting soil. 3 frozen pizzas – one cheese, one ham and pineapple, one pepperoni. A depressing looking ‘side salad’, which is 3 bags of mixed salad served without dressing in a mixing bowl.”
They also listed a variety of drinks for this less-than-appealing buffet, including: “2 pitchers of criminally watered down Ribena and orange squash.” Members of the public were split on what to offer, with one user jokingly suggesting they would bring out a spread of dried picnic classics and “ideally 1 shot of squash per bathtub of water. If you can still see any colour, add more water. 15 cans of Stella left in the sun to warm up all afternoon”.
Fellow users were in full agreement with this user’s dream buffet lineup. One chimed in: “Beige as far as the eye can see.” Another queried: “Where’s the coronation chicken? Also the Ritz crackers with pineapple and cheddar on?” A third quipped: “Bucket of vinegar with pickled onions floating around. Baked potatoes in a lake of melted butter.”