‘I became an egg donor to help others have children – but side effects floored me’
Jess Flaherty, Wales Online
When I donated my eggs to try and help people struggling with their fertility, I was warned about potential side effects but I had no idea some would have me not wanting to leave my house.
For a long time, I’ve known parenthood isn’t for me. The idea of having children just doesn’t appeal to me at all. In my teenage years, I thought I’d have kids when I got older because it seemed like an inevitable facet of life but when I thought hard about what I actually wanted, being childfree was the only decision that made sense.
When one of my favourite singers, Cat Pierce – who I became obsessed with when she was in the band The Pierces, with her sister Allison – announced her pregnancy via the help of an egg donor, it piqued my interest. If I wasn’t going to have children of my own, why not look into helping those who may be facing fertility issues?
I did some research and learned, like most things to do with women’s health, it’s not a quick or easy process, but I was still keen to get started and help people. I donated my eggs via the Hewitt Fertility Centre which is based at Liverpool Women’s Hospital. It began with a series of health assessments and consultations and it wasn’t long before enough vials of blood were taken from my arm to leave Count Dracula salivating – and I was booked in for a compulsory counselling session to discuss the ramifications of the decision to donate my eggs.
It could work, meaning my genetics would be out in the world but I’d have zero legal claim to any child conceived from my eggs or any way of tracking them down; it could also mean in 18 years, I might be contacted by any donor-conceived children who wanted to know more about their biological “parent”, as all donor-conceived children are permitted access to their donor’s records once they reach adulthood. It also might not work, I could go through injecting myself with hormones for weeks, multiple tests and scans, getting prodded and poked, being sedated for the extraction procedure, pain, and much more, all for nothing.
It didn’t matter what anyone told me, I’d made the decision to donate and that was final. Of course, you’re warned extensively about the side effects but I think my eagerness to do a good deed and my overall naivete about the process meant I didn’t fully absorb everything I was told.
The first issue I faced after weeks of hormone pills and daily injections was extremely heightened emotions. Now, I’m not talking it’s-that-time-of-month-so-don’t-f’ing-test-me kind of emotions, oh no. I’m talking completely unhinged, crying and sobbing over anything and everything, kind of emotions.
For the procedure itself, I was heavily sedated so the raging insomniac in me actually found this to be the most enjoyable and least stressful part. I slept for a full 12 hours afterwards – what bliss!
Despite some intense cramping and a little pain, I was high enough on the praise I’d received for doing “such a wonderful thing” that when they asked if I’d like to volunteer to donate again, I – stupidly – said yes. The second donation – and second batch of hormones injected into my stomach on a daily basis – led to the other most impactful side effect which, for me, was a serious breakout of angry red pimples all over my face.
As a teenager, I paid my dues when it came to spots; my chin was an angry, red blob for three years thanks to a seemingly endless array of little red pimples that all blurred together. It was, as I’m sure you can imagine, a real hoot for any 15-year-old to endure. In my 20s and early 30s, I got the occasional hormonal spot on my chin (always, always my chin – it hates me) but for the most part, I consider myself quite lucky in regards to breakouts. Would you believe, they got even worse than this!
The influx of hormones from the egg donation procedure made me wish for the heinous mega-spot that occasionally pops up every month or so. I felt genuinely upset whenever I looked in the mirror – itchy, sore, red spots covered my whole face and what’s more, they hurt. My skin felt uncomfortably tight so even while sitting on the sofa watching television, or sitting at my desk typing away on my laptop, I was always aware of the spots and the sorry state of my face. I didn’t even want to leave my house.
I am glad I donated my eggs and tried to help people in their fertility journey, but if anyone reading is considering doing it, I’d advise going into it with your expectations thoroughly managed.
It’s lovely to try and do a good deed, and it’s even lovelier to think you’re able to help someone get something they want so desperately, but it’s not an easy or straightforward process and some of the side effects can be a lot more serious than you may have envisioned.
They say no good deed goes unpunished… I felt very low about myself after breaking out like this during the egg donation process.
If you’d like to donate your eggs, I’d advise researching local centres and making enquiries with them to get the ball rolling. You’ll meet for a consultation first where your eligibility will be assessed and then you can move forward from there.