Mum Shares Heartbreaking Story to Raise Awareness
A tragic incident 14 years ago changed Emma Tomes’ life forever. Her former partner, Geoff, took his own life, leaving her with a deep sense of loss and devastation. Emma, now 43, recalls the day she had to inform her son that he would never see his dad again. The pain and shock of the situation left her feeling numb and overwhelmed. Despite the common belief that grief diminishes over time, Emma found that suppressing her emotions only delayed her healing process. It wasn’t until later that she could no longer contain her feelings.
Although Emma and Geoff were no longer together at the time of his passing, they remained close friends. The loss of Geoff hit Emma hard, especially when faced with the challenge of explaining his death to her son. The lack of support from her workplace, which did not extend bereavement benefits to non-immediate family members, added to her distress. Emma felt the weight of disenfranchised grief, where her emotions were not socially recognized or validated.
Reflecting on her experience, Emma realized the importance of being aware of the signs that someone may be contemplating suicide. She channeled her pain into studying mental health and suicide prevention, ultimately becoming a qualified BACP counsellor. Emma went on to establish The Mental Health People, a training business that educates workplaces, schools, and charities on suicide prevention strategies.
Through her work with bereaved families, Emma has identified crucial indicators that someone may be considering taking their own life. She emphasizes the significance of recognizing these signs and offers insights to help others prevent similar tragedies. Some of the key points to consider include:
- Changes in behavior, such as sudden happiness or a sense of peace
- Tidying up belongings or giving away possessions
- Increased isolation or withdrawal from social activities
- Expressions of hopelessness or feeling trapped
- Talking about death or dying without seeking help
Emma dispels the misconception that discussing suicide is merely a cry for help and warns against overlooking subtle signs that could indicate suicidal thoughts. By sharing her story and raising awareness about suicide prevention, Emma hopes to spare other families from enduring the pain and loss she experienced.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the Samaritans for support:
You can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
Emma’s journey serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of mental health awareness and the need for proactive suicide prevention initiatives.